You took your last breath as I was holding tight to the softness of your hand not wanting to let go and face the reality that all I would have left of you is pictures and memories. I held on to the fragility of your hand for three hours with tears streaming down my face and as I let go of your hand for the final time in this lifetime, I realized the fragility of life. I realized how long a life can be, but at the same time so short. I realized the importance of making memories while you can. I realized that life keeps on keeping on and all I have is memory.
I seem to look at pictures of us together a lot and this feeling that is hard to describe comes over. It’s been two years. I miss your smile that would brighten up anyones day. I miss your singing. I miss your soft voice. I miss the phone calls every day making sure we got home from school safely. I miss the warmth of your hugs. I miss holding your soft hands and the little squeeze you would do to remind me of your presence. I miss your reassurance that, “everything will be okay”. I miss our lunch dates and shopping sprees. I miss our vacations charting new places and making our mark. I miss your kale soup. I miss spending the night at your house and watching disney movies or discovery health. I really miss you.
The void of your absence can never be replaced; I simply live with remembrance. If anything this life keeps moving on in every direction and I know when to buckle up, cry when I need to, scream if need be, and keep going even when the days get tough.
I thank you for the time we had and I’ll see you someday, but for now you’re in my heart and not a day goes by that I don’t think about you. There is so much I would tell you, but for now I’ll just continue to carry you with me. I miss you and we’ll be together someday.