It’s Been A Year

“When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me, every freckle on my face is where it’s supposed to be and I know my creator didn’t make no mistakes on me…my feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes, I’m loving what I see” –India Arie

It is almost Valentines Day and it’s my one-year anniversary on WordPress, so I thought a little encouragement to love you for a change instead of hating or degrading yourself could be useful.

If you were to ask me a year ago if I loved myself, I would probably come up with some quote or try and sound as if I had it all together. When in all honesty, a year ago I was probably the least confident, but I made others believe the opposite. A year ago, was the battle of migraines that made me so negative towards myself and knocked me down quite a bit. I remember so vividly the pain I felt, the doctors’ office, the emergency room, and just wanting everything to be over. A year ago, I was the farthest from knowing who I was. I thought after losing my Grandma that I had grown and learned about myself, but I hadn’t. I just buried my emotions and spoke lies to myself. It took that week of migraines almost a year after her death to push me towards a better me. It took an appointment with the neurologist of listening to prescriptions I would have to be on and her urging me to try yoga. It took committing to yoga and fighting the battles in my head, I had ignored for so long. This last year has been an emotional, reflective, and of course inspiring one and not for second do I regret any of it.

If you were to ask me now, if I loved myself, I would be honest and truthful. I do love myself. I love my mental, emotional, and physical strength. I love the confidence I have gained and how I carry myself and knowing that I don’t need anyone’s’ approval when I’m the only one I got my whole life. I accept that there are days when my confidence is not the best, but that’s life, not everyday will have a cherry on top. I just have to recognize when I’m being my own worst critic and confront it because I’m not getting anywhere with negativity. I love that I’ve learned to notice and appreciate the little things that I used to so often forget and only notice when I was “bored”. I love that I can sit by myself with just my thoughts and stare at the sunset or the mountains and find inspiration. I love how I’ve learned to listen to my body and what it needs (most of the time). I love that I sing as if no one is listening. I love that I’m happy with who I am. I love that I am a work in progress and will be forever. I love who I see when I look in the mirror at the end of the day.

Whoever is reading this; I want you to appreciate who you are. I want you to realize how much you are capable of. I want you to love all of you – the songs you scream out loud to or cry to or just dance to, the inspirations you have, the stories you’re made of, the jokes you know, the food combinations you come up with on a whim, the laughter – because it makes you into this amazing individual. Don’t for one second wish to be skinnier or thicker, more blonde, more tan, whatever it is; take the time to love yourself for everything you have and know that loving yourself is a lifetime process.

“Now’s the time, put your salt on the shelf, go on and love yourself cause everything’s gonna be alright” –India Arie

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